Neddy's Palaver

“The Five Finger Prayer” was received from the Internet without attribution. I altered it into a “Prayer of Gratitude” as I have been reading G.K. Chesterton, and have always subscribed to this thought of his: I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” ~~G.K. Chesterton

1. Your thumb is nearest to you. Begin your daily prayers by giving thanks for those closest to you; they are the easiest to remember and to pray for our loved ones is, as C. S. Lewis wrote, a “sweet duty.”

2. The next finger is your pointing finger. Remember to give thanks for those who are “pointing” you and your loved ones in the right direction: teachers, doctors, and the clergy. Bless them in your prayers.

3. Next comes the tallest finger. Thank God for the good and faithful leaders He has provided you. Ask God to give them the guidance necessary to lead those following them in the path of righteousness.

4. The fourth finger is the weakest finger. It reminds you to be grateful for your strengths. It reminds you to remember those who are truly weak, in desperate circumstances, or in physical agony, and to ask God to give you the strength to help them.

5. The little finger is the last finger and the smallest of all. The little finger reminds you to give thanks to God for His greatness and for His mercifulness to one as small as you are in relation to God.

Be Grateful. It is the way to happiness.

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See my new SeeqPod music player. It’s on the Internet - no need to download anything. Cool.

Some of My Favorites —

More of my favorite playlists are at “My Vanishing Memories.”

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How important must one be to be assassinated rather than murdered?
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Why is it that you “put your two cents in” and then receive only a “penny for your thoughts?”
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
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What disease was ham”cured” of?
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How is it that man walked on the moon long before the wheel was invented for luggage?
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Does the phrase “slept like a baby” mean one is awakened every two hours?
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If a deaf person is ordered into court, is the hearing still called a “hearing?”
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Why is one IN a movie, but ON television?
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Why is it that we aspire to ascend to the tops of tall buildings and mountains and then put money in binoculars to see the ground below where we just were?
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Why don’t you care that Jimmy cracks corn?
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Can a hearse drive in the carpool lane when hauling a corpse ?
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If the Professor of Gilligan’s Island was clever enough to create a radio out of a coconut, why was he not smart enough to fix a hole in a boat?
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Why does Goofy the dog stand erect while Pluto the dog remains on all fours?
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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Do “The ABC Song” and “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” have the same tune?
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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Why does a dog get angry when someone blows in his face, but sticks his head out the window when riding in a car?
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Inspired by a forwarded email from Martha. Do you ever wonder why you gave her your email address?

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Computing for Seniors
If you were lucky enough to get a computer for Christmas, yet “unlucky” enough to have the mind of a senior citizen, I have some advice to get you started. Are you puzzled about where to begin and worried about pushing a button or clicking the mouse and breaking your brand new magnificent machine? Are you wanting to take up web surfing, but unsure that you have what it takes to become a grand surfer like the younger set? Are you generally confused about everything to do with the computer world? This introductory FREE course from AARP is designed for seniors and can teach you everything you need to know. You will learn terms and techniques, and how to troubleshoot common problems.

Go to aarp.org/computers/ and look to the left hand side of the web page for the “BASIC WEB LESSONS.” Then you can begin to follow the Seven Step Web Lessons from AARP, written especially for seniors. Once you master those, you can graduate yourself to the INTERMEDIATE WEB LESSONS.

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The “Incredible Magic Liquid Sponge” not only cleans your house spotless, it kills everything in your house that makes it dirty - including YOU!

Keep Those Email Warnings Coming – such as this one, sent to someone, somewhere:

JUST WANTED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT I AM A HUGE FAN OF THE “INCREDIBLE MAGIC LIQUID SPONGE” CLEANER … HOWEVER, I HAVE A FRIEND WHOSE SON STUDIED ENGINEERING IN COLLEGE AND HE NOW WORKS FOR A HUGE EUROPEAN CONGLOMERATE THAT IS ALWAYS THE FIRST TO KNOW ABOUT RECALLED PRODUCTS LONG BEFORE THE NEWS IS RELEASED TO THE MARKETPLACE. WELL, MY FRIEND PHONED ME LAST NIGHT AND SAID THAT HER SON TOLD HER THAT I MUST STOP USING THOSE “INCREDIBLE MAGIC LIQUID SPONGES” AND THAT THEY ARE ALREADY BEING BANNED FROM EUROPEAN MARKETS BECAUSE THEY CONTAIN FORMALDEHYDE. YES, FORMALDEHYDE, THE VERY SAME CHEMICAL THAT IS USED TO PRESERVE DEAD PEOPLE. THE “INCREDIBLE MAGIC LIQUID SPONGE” CONTAINS NOT ONLY THAT TOXIN, BUT HAS ANOTHER DANGEROUS CHEMICAL ADDED TO THE FORMALDEHYDE — AGENT ORANGE. THIS CONCOCTION IS HIGHLY DANGEROUS TO HOUSE PLANTS, PETS, YOUNG CHILDREN AND CAN BE HARMFUL TO YOU, YOURSELF, SO STOP USING THESE LIQUID SPONGES IMMEDIATELY! THROW THEM AWAY AND DON’T BUY ANY MORE. ALREADY TWO YOUNG BOYS HAVE DIED — ONE DRANK THE LIQUID SPONGE AND THE OTHER BOY ATE IT. SOME OF THE “INCREDIBLE MAGIC LIQUID SPONGE” SPLASHED UPON A TODDLER WHILE HER MOTHER WAS WASHING DISHES AND ERODED THE CORNEAS OF THE BABY’S EYES. HUNDREDS OF BELOVED PETS HAVE MET THEIR DEATHS AFTER WALKING UPON FLOORS MOPPED WITH THESE LIQUID SPONGES. ONE YOUNG BOY WHO WAS HELPING HIS MOTHER ERASE CRAYON FROM WALLS, SUFFERED CHEMICAL BURNS TO HIS FACE WHEN HE ATTEMPTED TO ERASE CRAYON ON HIS FACE AND CHIN WITH THAT SAME “INCREDIBLE MAGIC LIQUID SPONGE.”

AND … PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW, ESPECIALLY THOSE WITH PLANTS, PETS AND OR YOUNG CHILDREN. AND … (the part I love the best) IMMEDIATELY STOP CLEANING YOUR HOUSE BEFORE IT KILLS YOU!

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What We Never Learned About the Thanksgiving Holiday

Most Americans, including Southerners, have been taught that it was the New England Pilgrim’s non-religious Thanksgiving Feast that was the very first Thanksgiving in our New World. However they forget that the Spaniards in what is now Florida probably held religious Thanksgiving services, and … long before any Europeans, including Spaniards, set foot in the Americas, the native peoples celebrated harvest festivals with dances and rituals, such as the Cherokees’ Green Corn Dance.

The first documented European Thanksgiving service held in North America happened on May 27th, 1578, in Newfoundland. Later, a Thanksgiving service was probably conducted by British Europeans in New England, the Popham Colony of what is now Maine, in 1607, and that same year there was the documented Thanksgiving at Jamestown in Virginia. The Jamestown colonists gave thanks for their safe arrival, and held another Thanksgiving service in 1610, after the arrival of a long-awaited supply ship. Virginia settlers at Berkley Hundred were required by their charter to celebrate a yearly Thanksgiving service observing the day of their first arrival, which they did until an Indian uprising wiped out most of the Virginia colony. All of these Thanksgiving services in America were held years before the three day Thanksgiving celebrations of feasting, gaming and drinking, in 1621 and 1623, held by the Pilgrims at Plymouth Plantation, Massachusetts. It was the June 30th, 1623 religious and social festival of the Pilgrims which seems to have been the origin of today’s Thanksgiving Day.

After the Revolutionary War, in 1789, Elias Boudinot, a Massachusetts solon, moved that a day of Thanksgiving be held to thank God for giving the American people the opportunity to create a Constitution to preserve their hard won freedoms. The motion was approved by Congress and on October 3, 1789, the President George Washington proclaimed that the people of the United States observe “a day of public thanksgiving and prayer” on Thursday, the 26th of November.

(Reference: Encylopedia Smithsonian)

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Actually, It was a “Miracle on Turf,” and perhaps a “Tide’s Up” for us all.

That is what Navy insiders are calling Navy football’s 46-44 triple-overtime victory over Notre Dame last Saturday. That is because Notre Dame has beaten Navy 43 straight times, dating back two generations to 1963, when players like Roger Staubach were willing to joing Navy’s team, knowing that in return they would be required to serve a five year military commitment. That was before the Vietnam War, which changed everything for America’s military. That was a very different world when Navy could win over Notre Dame. That was not today’s world. As NBC’s play-by-play announcer Pat Haden said on Saturday: “With all due respect, Navy doesn’t get to recruit blue-chip football players.” He should have added: “Just blue-chip people,” but he didn’t, and that is what is expected in today’s world.

What is it that today’s Navy offers it football team recruits?

The chance to play against Notre Dame. Or maybe it’s the chance to wake up at 6 o’clock every morning; the chance to be screamed at by upperclassmen; the chance to lose your weekend liberty for carrying a book-bag improperly or for being 30 seconds late to class. Not to mention the chance to get shot at when you graduate.

The best description I ever heard of what it is like to play football at Navy, Army and Air Force came from Fred Goldsmith, who coached at Air Force: “At a civilian school the hardest part of a football player’s day is football practice,” he said. “At an academy, the easiest part of a football player’s day is football practice.” (The Washington Post)

Navy’s football celebration should be a celebration by all who love and rely upon our military heroes. Perhaps the tide is up for us all.

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If you hate pigeons and duct tape, WD-40 is your friend.

It keeps pigeons away so that they will leave no disgusting residue on your balcony, and it will remove the disgusting residue of duct tape that you used to hold your balcony together. However, is it really the 45 Wonder Miracle that a current email claims? It may be, yet the WD-40 company (formerly the Rocket Chemical Company of San Diego) gives its “multi-purpose problem solver” product credit for only the following number of miracles.

3. Protects silver from tarnishing.
4. Removes road tar and grime from cars.
10. Loosens stubborn zippers.
11. Untangles jewelry chains.
14. Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
18. Keeps scissors working smoothly.
19. Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.
21. Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers.
22. Rids kids’ rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.
23. Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
24. Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
26. Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27. Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
28. Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.
30. Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
33. Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34. Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35. Removes all traces of duct tape.
37. Florida’s favorite use is: “cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers.”
43. If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start.
44. It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tars and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn’t seem to harm the finish and you won’t have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks. Wash off after use.
45. Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!

These remedies should be enough to keep the company in business at least until their patent expires, even if (#38 of 45) the state of New York doesn’t spray it on the Statue of Liberty. If you purchase a can of the lubricant thinking that it will (#7 of 45) keep flies off your cows; or (#36 of 45) that spraying it on your arms, hands, and knees will relieve arthritis; or (#39 of 45) that you can use WD-40 to attract fish or cats because it is made of fish oil; think again. The WD-40 Company does not make those claims. The WD-40 Company does claim that their product is NOT made of fish oil, so please, please, please do NOT add (#46) take a tablespoon of WD-40 instead of your daily fish oil tablet. It is made of the petroleum-based Stoddard Solvent, which is primarily solvent naphtha petroleum, medium aliphatic, so you don’t even have to warn your dinner guests who may be allergic to fish that you (#3) wiped all the silverware with WD-40.

If you are wondering how WD-40 got its unusual name, here is the explanation from the company:

WD-40 literally stands for Water Displacement, 40th attempt. That’s the name straight out of the lab book used by the chemist who developed WD-40 back in 1953. The chemist, Norm Larsen, was attempting to concoct a formula to prevent corrosion ; a task which is done by displacing water. Norm’s persistence paid off when he perfected the formula on his 40th try.

See Snopes.com for more information. (Thanks Martha.)

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iPod Touch Web Apps

Last week Apple came out with something called WEBB APPS for their new iPod Touch. I noticed there were about five pages of WEBB APPS and I started playing with them a bit. Now I notice that there are more than 25 pages. Last night I found that Google has come aboard with some really nifty ones. My favorite is the Google Search: www.google.com/m. I started with that and it immediately opened my own personal Google calendar, my email and today I was able to read my Google docs.

This is really neato. This iPod Touch thingy is becoming a computer in the palm of my hand. However … these things only work when there is a WiFi connection. I wonder when that hurdle will be scaled?

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These meanings of the Flag Folding Ceremony are not a part of the U.S. Flag Code, but are sometimes recited at burial services for veterans.

The sayings seem to have originated on the Internet. Oftentimes, there is a recitation while the flag is being folded which describes the significance of each of the 13 folds of the flag. There seem to be various versions of the recitation which typically describes the first fold of the flag as a “symbol of life” and the second as a “symbol of our belief in eternal life.” Other folds pay tribute to “womanhood,” and “father.” The 11th fold glorifies “the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob”, the God of the Jews, and the 12th fold glorifies “God the Father, the Son and Holy Ghost” the Holy Trinity of Christians.

The U.S. Air Force has an approved (2005) Flag Folding script for ceremonies which is optional and without religious references. However, that recitation is not used at funerals conducted by the Air Force, where the flag is folded in silence.

The Flag Folds

1. Symbol of life.

2. Symbol of our belief in the eternal life.

3. In honor and remembrance of the veteran departing our ranks who gave a portion of life for the defense of our country to attain a peace throughout the world.

4. Represents our weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to him we turn in times of peace as well as in times of war for his guidance.

5. A tribute to our country, for in the words of Stephen Decatur, “Our country, in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.”

6. Represents where our hearts lie. It is with our hearts that we pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

7. A tribute to our armed forces.

8. A tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day, and to honor mother, for whom it flies on Mother’s Day.

9. A tribute to womanhood.

10. A tribute to father.

11. In the eyes of Hebrew citizens, represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon, and glorifies, in their eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

12. In the eyes of Christian citizens, represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in their eyes, God the Father, the Son and Holy Ghost.

13. When the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost, reminding us of our national motto, “In God We Trust.”

The Virginia Pilot

~~NEDDY of Neddy’s Palaver

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