Have you heard the one about Mother Goose beating up an accident victim with a Holy Bible? Who does this Mother Goose think she is that she can go around using the Bible as a weapon? People get killed for this kind of offense in Muslim lands. Not with the Bible, of course, but with the Holy Koran. Holy Cow! What IF Mother Goose had used a Koran? Where would she be now?

The report of “Mother Goose Gone Wild” first appeared in a story by Dan Reed entitled ‘She’s hittin’ him with her Bible!‘ published in the Mercury News. The mp3 audio is available from Scott Rope’s “Jack in the Box Voicemail.” Mike Childs was a construction manager for Jack in the Box restaurant and he was leaving a voice mail for his boss when he happened to witness a traffic accident in the street. Not just an ordinary fender bender, but a real mishap with some poor guy running into an Impala filled with “little old ladies,” according to Childs, including one who apparently was Mother Goose.

You can hear the literal blow-by-blow account, involving, among other weapons, an umbrella, pepper spray and an NIV Bible. The narrator’s infectious laugh makes it hysterical, so give it a listen.

UPDATE: This was previously posted at my old blog “Blatherings”. As some of the important links went dead, I have reposted it here with fresh links, “for now.” It has been posted at Free Republic where there is a long list of comments about it. They write:

ESPN should hire this guy, if they need someone to do play-by-play on car wrecks. Six years ago, or so the story goes, Mike Childs left a hilarious commentary on a co-worker’s voice mail about witnessing four little old ladies beat the tar out of a guy who hit their car and then tried to blame it on them. But only within the past few weeks has the magic of the Internet, where the recording is now posted, clued in tens of thousands to Childs’ infectious laugh and his wonderful eye for detail, all told with his Louisiana drawl. His phone is now ringing as if there’s a four-alarm fire. People from around the world have heard his take on the crash.

The Jack in the Box corporation claims that the voicemail message clip is genuine, and describes a traffic accident about six years ago in Athens, Texas. Michael Childs talked about the experience with several radio shows. (Childs Interview) There is more about this story that tickled everyone’s funny bone at Snopes.com.