Neddy’s Palaver :: Coffee Bean Counter :: March

NeddyMarch 21, 2006 7:38 am

Find the Coffee Bean Man! Can You? If Not - You’re In Trouble!

coffee beans

Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, your right half of your brain is better developed than most people. If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, your right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein. If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger. And, yes, the man is really there.

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I hope that you don’t truly think that Red Necks actually talk like that. If so, I am about to disabuse you of that mistake. I am a genuine red neck male gender, California variety, and I’m here to tell you we do not talk like that.
If ya’ll wanna hear what a real red neck sounds like this is it. The only true dialect spoken by rednecks is the one in which they are at ease. I’m sorry Neddy, but whatever that hogwash is that you’re sellin’ we ain’t buyin’. Now lemme ask you a question…is that name from around Portland, Maine? If so, you need to get out more.
Comon down ta Georgia and I’ll introduce you to alotta rednecks, some of them are alot smarter than me and won’t get tripped by that Moses and the ark question. Some of them ain’t never been in jail, may even be one er two that don’t drive a pickup truck. Doubt if any of them eat road kill. Kinda blows your mind don’t it? well lookin at it another way, you might want to be a little more respectful of rednecks, cause that’s all there is in IRAQ not countin the Ragheads.
God bless you, most of us love Jesus too.

Comment by Lauren Baum — February 24, 2007 @ 2:41 am
You are a genuine California variety Redneck, Laren? Any real rednecks reading here would not be able to understand your ‘Valley Jive’, so I took the liberty of translating your remarks:

“ah hope thet yo’ don’t truly reckon thet Red Necks acshully talk like thet. Eff’n so, ah’s about t’disabuse yo’ of thet mistake. ah’s a junuine red neck male junder, Califo’nia variety, an’ I’m hyar t’tell yo’ we does not talk like thet. Eff’n ya’ll wanna hear whut a real red neck soun’s like this hyar is it. Th’ only true dialeck spoken by rednecks is th’ one in which they is at ease. I’m so’ry Neddy, but whutevah thet hogwarsh is thet yo’’re sellin’ we ain’t buyin’. Now lemme ax yo’ a quesshun…is thet name fum aroun’ Po’tlan’, Jawja? Eff’n so, yo’ need t’git out mo’e. Comon down ta Geo’gia an’ I’ll intrydooce yo’ t’alotta rednecks, some of them is alot smarter than me an’ won’t git tripped by thet Moses an’ th’ ark quesshun. Some of them ain’t nevah been in jail, may even be one er two thet don’t drive a pickup truck. Shet mah mouth! Doubt eff’n enny of them ett road kill, ah reckon. Kinda blows yer mind don’t it? fine lookin at it t’other way, yo’ might be hankerin’ t’be a li’l mo’e respeckful of rednecks, cuz thet’s all thar is in IRAQ not countin th’ Irackees. God bless yo’, most of us love Jesus too.”

Comment by Neddy — February 24, 2007 @ 2:00 pm
By the Bye - anyone reading here wondering “Who Are Rednecks?” I wrote the answer a long while ago, an answer that very few people even know.

Comment by Neddy — February 24, 2007 @ 2:09 pm

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