“ah hope thet yo’ don’t truly reckon thet Red Necks acshully talk like thet. Eff’n so, ah’s about t’disabuse yo’ of thet mistake. ah’s a junuine red neck male junder, Califo’nia variety, an’ I’m hyar t’tell yo’ we does not talk like thet. Eff’n ya’ll wanna hear whut a real red neck soun’s like this hyar is it. Th’ only true dialeck spoken by rednecks is th’ one in which they is at ease. I’m so’ry Neddy, but whutevah thet hogwarsh is thet yo’’re sellin’ we ain’t buyin’. Now lemme ax yo’ a quesshun…is thet name fum aroun’ Po’tlan’, Jawja? Eff’n so, yo’ need t’git out mo’e. Comon down ta Geo’gia an’ I’ll intrydooce yo’ t’alotta rednecks, some of them is alot smarter than me an’ won’t git tripped by thet Moses an’ th’ ark quesshun. Some of them ain’t nevah been in jail, may even be one er two thet don’t drive a pickup truck. Shet mah mouth! Doubt eff’n enny of them ett road kill, ah reckon. Kinda blows yer mind don’t it? fine lookin at it t’other way, yo’ might be hankerin’ t’be a li’l mo’e respeckful of rednecks, cuz thet’s all thar is in IRAQ not countin th’ Irackees. God bless yo’, most of us love Jesus too.”