I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse started out with the basics. “How much do you weigh?” she asked. “115,” I told her. The nurse put me on the scales and it revealed that my weight was actually “150″. She then asked for my height. “5 feet 8,” I told her. The nurse checks the wall and sees that I measure up to only “5 feet 5″. She then monitors my blood pressure and tells me it is much too high. “Of course it’s high!” I scream, “When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I’m short and fat!”

The doctor put me on Prozac. (Thanks Elaine B.)