Windows 2005, Red State Edition
We hyar at Microsof’ haf created a noo addishun of our sof’ware jest fo’ yo’uns. Eff’n y’all kin read, y’all will recernize th’ Red State EDITION by th’ unique openin’ screen which reads WINDERS 2005, wif a backgroun’ pitcher of Waylon an’ Willie superimposed on a quart of Jack Daniels. Thar haf been a few other necessary an’ wo’thwhile changes:

The Recycle Bin is labeled “Outhouse”
My Computer is called “This Dern Contraption”
Dial Up Networking is called “Good Ol’ Boys”
Control Panel is known as “The Dashboard”
Hard Drive is referred to as “4-Wheel Drive”
Floppies are “Them little ol’ plastic thangs”
Instead of an error message, “Duct Tape” pops up

Winders 2005

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN “Red State” EDITION:
Cancel…………stopdat
Reset…………..try’er agin
Yes……………..yep
No………………nope
Find……………hunt fer it
Go to………….over yonder
Back…………..back yonder
Help…………..hep me out here
Stop…………..kwitit (WHOA!)
Start…………..crank’er up
Settings……..settins
Programs……stuff at duz stuff
Documents…stuff ah done did

Also note thet th’ RED STATE EDITION does not reckanize capital letters o’ punckuashun marks. Some programs thet is exclusive t’ “WINDERS 2005“:

Tiperiter…………………….. a word processing program
Colerin’ Book………………a graphics program
Cyferin’ Mersheen………..calculator
Outhouse Paper…………..notepad
Inner-net……………………..Microsoft explorer 5.0
Pitchers………………………a graphics viewer

Yo’ may view a sample of th’ Internet as translated by “Winders 2005 Red State Edishun” by clickin’ HERE.

Ah varmintally hope this hyar he’ps all y’all becomin’ mo’e computer iliterate!
CEO an’ FOUNDER, Billy Bob Gates
Git ‘er done!

Sent fum th’ Internet by mah friend, Elaine, wif elabo’ashuns by me, Neddy. Linked at basil’s blog Lunch, DaTaste.com and WizBang’s Carnival of Trackbacks