Neddy's Palaver

If you hate pigeons and duct tape, WD-40 is your friend.

It keeps pigeons away so that they will leave no disgusting residue on your balcony, and it will remove the disgusting residue of duct tape that you used to hold your balcony together. However, is it really the 45 Wonder Miracle that a current email claims? It may be, yet the WD-40 company (formerly the Rocket Chemical Company of San Diego) gives its “multi-purpose problem solver” product credit for only the following number of miracles.

3. Protects silver from tarnishing.
4. Removes road tar and grime from cars.
10. Loosens stubborn zippers.
11. Untangles jewelry chains.
14. Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
18. Keeps scissors working smoothly.
19. Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.
21. Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers.
22. Rids kids’ rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.
23. Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
24. Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
26. Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27. Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
28. Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.
30. Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
33. Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34. Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35. Removes all traces of duct tape.
37. Florida’s favorite use is: “cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers.”
43. If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start.
44. It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tars and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn’t seem to harm the finish and you won’t have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks. Wash off after use.
45. Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!

These remedies should be enough to keep the company in business at least until their patent expires, even if (#38 of 45) the state of New York doesn’t spray it on the Statue of Liberty. If you purchase a can of the lubricant thinking that it will (#7 of 45) keep flies off your cows; or (#36 of 45) that spraying it on your arms, hands, and knees will relieve arthritis; or (#39 of 45) that you can use WD-40 to attract fish or cats because it is made of fish oil; think again. The WD-40 Company does not make those claims. The WD-40 Company does claim that their product is NOT made of fish oil, so please, please, please do NOT add (#46) take a tablespoon of WD-40 instead of your daily fish oil tablet. It is made of the petroleum-based Stoddard Solvent, which is primarily solvent naphtha petroleum, medium aliphatic, so you don’t even have to warn your dinner guests who may be allergic to fish that you (#3) wiped all the silverware with WD-40.

If you are wondering how WD-40 got its unusual name, here is the explanation from the company:

WD-40 literally stands for Water Displacement, 40th attempt. That’s the name straight out of the lab book used by the chemist who developed WD-40 back in 1953. The chemist, Norm Larsen, was attempting to concoct a formula to prevent corrosion ; a task which is done by displacing water. Norm’s persistence paid off when he perfected the formula on his 40th try.

See Snopes.com for more information. (Thanks Martha.)

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This is a new one for me. Have you ever been to a garage sale where everything was free? This seems to be that type of happening in the blogosphere. The originator labels it bloggygiveaways.com and she invites each individual blogger to offer a free something or other. The catch is that one has to comment at the participating blog and leave an email address. I haven’t checked to see if this may be a spammersgiveaway.com in disguise, however it does appear to be quite innocent and on the up and up.

If you have some extra time on your hands, there are literally hundreds of blogs awaiting your erudite comments. If your comment wins - ta da - you get to take home some of their stuff … for free. Hurry, hurry before the spammers and robots get the message and ruin it for everyone.

Bloggy Giveaways

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One of the many injustices of this sweet mystery that is life is that, by the time you finally learn your way around life’s many twists and turns, you find yourself too old to go anywhere interesting.

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All of Virginia is abuzz about the upcoming arrival of Queen Elizabeth II to Jamestown and points in between from there to Washington. It was 400 years ago this month that her royal relative, the first Queen Elizabeth, sent her British subjects to the Colony which was named “Virginia” in her honor for being a “Virgin Queen”. One has to wonder if at times the present Elizabeth doesn’t wish she had been a “Virgin Queen” too, considering the antics of her progeny these last few decades.

Some lucky Virginians are going to have the great privilege of coming face to face with the Queen, but few of them know what to say nor how to behave. “Give the Queen a Hand, but When It Comes to Bowing . . . ” don’t, advises WaPo, the local self-proclaimed authority for all things Virginian.

Virginia’s governor has inserted himself into the royal festivities by creating a new Web site illustrating how HE expects HIS subjects to behave when Her Royal Highness comes calling. First tip - she will be greatly insulted if you address her as “Her Royal Highness” , according to “Virginia’s Royal Welcome”. Furthermore, His Highness the Commonwealth’s Governor has created an entire page for Virginians to learn Queenly “Royal Etiquette.”

If you are a United States citizen you are not required to bow or curtsy to the Queen. Jolly good - as after all we fought a war over just that sort of silliness with the Queen’s Great-Great, George III, back in ‘76. For genuine Americans shaking hands is acceptable. If you are British or a citizen of one of the Commonwealth states, excepting Virginia, Kentucky, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania, you must bow or curtsy, depending upon whether you are a man or a woman. Be real careful about that last rule, as these days it is hard to tell one gender from another, and we don’t want anyone on Virginia soil to be suddenly banished to the Tower of London to lose his, her or its head. If you are an illegal immigrant - anything goes, as no one can lay a hand on you, Queens, Governors, Presidents notwithstanding.

Genealogists have to be especially cautious when talking with the Queen. Her Majesty absolutely does not want to hear that you too are descended from royalty. Even if you have the DNA evidence to back up your claim, keep your lips sealed, or you may be getting a non-tour of the Tower too, as no self-respecting Royal wants to be reminded of the scattering of the Royal seed amongst the hoi polloi.

After all these centuries of British settlement here in Virginia, it was not until the Queen’s own father, George VI, came to call in 1939, that the United States had ever been visited by a British monarch. Queen Elizabeth II is only the second Royal ruler to step upon this formerly British soil that is now the Commonwealth of Virginia. This will be Queen Elizabeth’s third visit to Virginia. It was during a presentation of Appalachian dance many years ago, that the then young Queen Elizabeth referred to it as “clogging”, which name has stuck ever since then. All Hail to the Queen.

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Right now you can purchase this blog for half-price. What a deal! That’s 50% off and much less than the $1,000,000 that the “Million Dollar Blog” sold for, and “Neddy’s Palaver” is much more interesting.

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Well, believe it or not, but someone named GreatDealsDepot actually bid and won the last 1000 pixels of advertising space on the Million Dollar Home Page, what ever that is. The winning bid on EBay was only $38,100.00. Nice to know that someone is able to profit handsomely from web design. Here is a picture of the finished creation as of 3 January 2006 - Million Dollar homepage completed! And here is the description of the Million Dollar Homepage at EBay, as described by it owner/designer, Alex Tew:

Own The Last 1,000 Pixels on MillionDollarHomepage.com
Hi folks!

Welcome to my eBay auction for the last 1,000 pixels of advertising space on my world-famous site, MillionDollarHomepage.com

You may have seen some of the international media coverage that my site has recently received, including: CNN, Wall Street Journal, Vanity Fair, MSNBC, ABC News, Fox News, BBC, MSN, Yahoo!… the list goes on - a long way. I’ve already sold 999,000 pixels of advertising space on MillionDollarHomepage.com, but due to exceptionally high demand for pixels I decided to do the most logical thing and auction the final 1,000 pixels right here on eBay.

At the time of writing, MillionDollarHomepage.com has received over 1.5 million unique visitors and over 2.7 million page impressions in the last 7 days alone, leading to huge exposure and click-throughs for the advertisers on the homepage. Considering the site will be online for the next 5 years guaranteed, the long-term value of advertising on my site is immense (but remember my aim is to keep it online for decades to come - like an internet time capsule). At the time of writing, Alexa.com ranks my site 127th out of ALL websites on the internet. This is your last chance to literally own a piece of ‘internet history’!

The winning bidder will not only win last 1,000 pixels on the homepage, they will also receive a huge amount of publicity associated with winning this eBay auction and my site finally reaching the million dollar mark. I will also mention the winning bidder on my blog, which is read by tens of thousands of people every day. This truely is a unique, one-off, hugely valuable marketing opportunity. Happy bidding!

Alex Tew, 1st January 2006

PS. The last 1,000 pixels are a 50x20 pixel block located at co-ordinates 55,27 on the homepage, which is a prime location in the top-half of the page. You can see the space highlighted in the second image attached to this auction.

All I can say is “say what” ???? Too many hours in front of the computer must be responsible for the brain damage seen throughout the connected world these days.

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Don’t forget that “Thank A Soldier Week” began on December 19th.

Christmas at Arlington Cemetery, beautiful image

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PRECAUTIONS FOR WOMEN
(received from the Internet without attribution)

Just in case, especially now, during the frenzy of the season. We can now add to the list of victims the retired 77-year-old TCU professor from Fort Worth whose body was found last week in Oklahoma — and the 11-year-old in Sarasota. Because of these recent abductions in daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation.
(more…)

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Thank a Soldier Week
Begins December 19th

God Bless Those Who Serve. Thanks for all you do from Neddy.

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Do not download the new Firefox!

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Together, they’ll change the way you use the Internet forever — CLICK THE BUTTON BELOW NOW! Free!

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