Neddy's Palaver

You Need to Start with Pork Chops, Japanese Style!

These young Japanese girls can teach us everything we need to know about catching dragons. First thing - strap a meaty pork chop onto your forehead and the toothy dragons, who cannot resist the temptation, will head right for it … or YOU! “Dragon-san is falling! Dragon-san is falling!” The girls lose heart as the dragon escapes into the audience. Poor Dragon-san never even captured a single pork chop. Isn’t there a Japanese version of PETA in Japan to protect these poor dragons from such abuse from these wicked girls?

If you want to discover the insanity that is Morning Musume, here they are.

Look out Loudoun and Fauquier Counties! The big enchilada that is Fairfax County is about to take over your horsey status as “Horse Country.” A movement is underway to banish horse-less carriages in favor of more horses, bicycles and walking in Fairfax County, Virginia.

In future, beginning July 2009, Fairfax County residents seeking admission to their own taxpayer funded park-lands, must pay a fee if they arrive in a “horse-less” carriage, but no fee if they arrive riding a horse. This is blatant discrimination against non-equine modes of transportation. Why is Fairfax County trying to become horsey Fauquier County? If one employs a horse-less carriage instead of a horse to transport oneself, why should the horse be favored in entering into government owned parks.

Do horses pay taxes to Fairfax County? I do not know. I do not own a horse, because Fairfax County will not allow me to stable one upon my minuscule Fairfax County property. But Fairfax County does allow me, for now at least, to keep a horse-less carriage on my property, and I do know that my horseless carriage indeed pays taxes to Fairfax County.

I demand to be allowed to keep a horse, so that I can get into Fairfax County’s parks without paying a penalty.

Read today’s WaPo for this latest revelation about Fairfax County’s Plan to charge its own tax-paying residents to enter publicly own parks.

If you are interested in fighting Fairfax County’s City Hall on this “additional” tax on horse-less carriages, read PatCleary.com.

Hope Springs Eternal

Yesterday, Captain Cliff and I put up another Bluebird house. I never stop hoping for the return of my Bluebird of Happiness.

I’ve only seen about a dozen bluebirds in my entire life. At my old house, a long time ago, I often saw a flying blue streak at the bottom of the ravine which I knew had be a bluebird as there is nothing else in nature that brilliantly blue. But, as for seeing a Bluebird up-close and personal, I think the third time I actually saw one was the very day that I moved into this house. I peered from my new kitchen window and one was sitting on the deck rail. He sat there a long time and then, away he flew, as if to signal “mission accomplished.” I never saw him again. Then about two or three years ago, about this time of year I spotted one again on the deck rail. When I looked more closely, there I discovered at least a dozen on the deck and in the trees. Yes, we were infested with Bluebirds. Then, they all flew off - never to be seen again. Almost every year since, I have put up a new Bluebird house, but they’ never come to stay.

Today, January 5th is the Eve of the Epiphany.

For our ancestors, who celebrated “Old Christmas,” the night preceding January 6th is the Eve of Epiphany. It was on this night, over 2000 years ago, that the Magi came to Bethlehem to find the baby Jesus.

Today, the Day of Epiphany is still known as “Old Christmas,” which was the day that Christmas was celebrated before the calendar changed in the 18th century. One of the old beliefs concerning the Day of Epiphany was that a person should never lend anything to anybody on Old Christmas Day, because the lender would never get it back again. Also, the Eve of Epiphany is the night when the Holy Spirit manifests Itself upon the earth in many subtle ways. Upon that night, no matter how hard the ground was frozen, elder bushes would sprout from the ground. Even more mysterious is our ancestors’ belief that at midnight on Old Christmas Eve, if they crept silently into a barn or field, they could hear the cattle and sheep praying. At the exact stroke of midnight on Old Christmas Eve, animals would start moo-ing and baa-ing and bellowing as though they were crying, in remembrance of their own ancestors who had been present in the stable at Bethlehem to witness the birth of the Christ Child and His revelation to the Magi.

A wonderful book that I am reading about celebrating Christmas in England of long ago is “Old Christmas” by Washington Irving.

• “On The Twelth Day of Christmas”
• Old Christmas in Rodanthe, North Carolina.
• Epiphany 2007

The image, The Epiphany, was originally uploaded by barneykin. It is posted here from Barneykin’s account.

Visit Neddy’s Archives for more of Edna’s writings.

If you go out on this Saturday night,
you'’re sure of a big surprise.
If you go out on this Saturday night,
You better not close your eyes.
For every wacko and robber and crook,
Will gather about for certain because,
Tonight’s the night everyone sees the Big Moon Rising.

Yes, we are getting closer and closer to that mysterious and ancient ritual known as The Winter Solstice. Be prepared. We know not what awaits us in that long night when vampires vamp and werewolves weir and howl at the Big Moon Rising. Take your flashlight along for the chilly wind of a fleeing specter may extinguish any candles and lanterns you be carrying.

If you stay away form Hampstead Heath, you may be fortunate enough to make it through the Night of the Big Moon without being gobbled alive by hobgoblins or lose your blood to blood-thirsty British vampires. However, you will not be totally safe. Because the gravitational pull of both the sun and the moon are at their strongest, there is a high probability that the earth will tremble, move and shake right under your feet. Earthquakes on a Saturday night! Nothing could be worse if you are watching the Big Moon Rising from The California coast.

Look Up Tonight! You will not see this again for another eight years, …. if ever.

Remembering warmer days on the beach at Assateague Island, whilst hoping for warmer days to return again. Remembering days that will never come again, whilst I “shed a bitter tear.”

The sea was wet as wet could be,

The sands were dry as dry.

You could not see a cloud, because

No cloud was in the sky:

No birds were flying over head—

There were no birds to fly.

The Walrus and the Carpenter

Were walking close at hand;

They wept like anything to see

Such quantities of sand:

“If this were only cleared away,”

They said, “it WOULD be grand!”

“If seven maids with seven mops

Swept it for half a year,

Do you suppose,” the Walrus said,

“That they could get it clear?”

“I doubt it,” said the Carpenter,

And shed a bitter tear.

(”The Walrus and the Carpenter” from “Through the Looking Glass” by Lewis Carroll)

The image, Assateague Island, was originally uploaded by barneykin. It is posted here from Barneykin’s Flickr account.

Visit Neddy’s Archives for more of Edna’s writings.

If you hate pigeons and duct tape, WD-40 is your friend.

It keeps pigeons away so that they will leave no disgusting residue on your balcony, and it will remove the disgusting residue of duct tape that you used to hold your balcony together. However, is it really the 45 Wonder Miracle that a current email claims? It may be, yet the WD-40 company (formerly the Rocket Chemical Company of San Diego) gives its “multi-purpose problem solver” product credit for only the following number of miracles.

3. Protects silver from tarnishing.
4. Removes road tar and grime from cars.
10. Loosens stubborn zippers.
11. Untangles jewelry chains.
14. Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
18. Keeps scissors working smoothly.
19. Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.
21. Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers.
22. Rids kids’ rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.
23. Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
24. Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
26. Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27. Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
28. Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.
30. Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
33. Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34. Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35. Removes all traces of duct tape.
37. Florida’s favorite use is: “cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers.”
43. If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start.
44. It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tars and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn’t seem to harm the finish and you won’t have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks. Wash off after use.
45. Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!

These remedies should be enough to keep the company in business at least until their patent expires, even if (#38 of 45) the state of New York doesn’t spray it on the Statue of Liberty. If you purchase a can of the lubricant thinking that it will (#7 of 45) keep flies off your cows; or (#36 of 45) that spraying it on your arms, hands, and knees will relieve arthritis; or (#39 of 45) that you can use WD-40 to attract fish or cats because it is made of fish oil; think again. The WD-40 Company does not make those claims. The WD-40 Company does claim that their product is NOT made of fish oil, so please, please, please do NOT add (#46) take a tablespoon of WD-40 instead of your daily fish oil tablet. It is made of the petroleum-based Stoddard Solvent, which is primarily solvent naphtha petroleum, medium aliphatic, so you don’t even have to warn your dinner guests who may be allergic to fish that you (#3) wiped all the silverware with WD-40.

If you are wondering how WD-40 got its unusual name, here is the explanation from the company:

WD-40 literally stands for Water Displacement, 40th attempt. That’s the name straight out of the lab book used by the chemist who developed WD-40 back in 1953. The chemist, Norm Larsen, was attempting to concoct a formula to prevent corrosion ; a task which is done by displacing water. Norm’s persistence paid off when he perfected the formula on his 40th try.

See Snopes.com for more information. (Thanks Martha.)

Sunset on the Kennebunk River

Every child should learn to dance. It is a great way to have good clean fun. The mental processes used to learn the steps and body movements exercise the brain in ways that nothing else does. Group dancing, such as folk, teaches teamwork and coordination so that the dancers will be able to romp in the forest with the animals while singing The Nature Anthem.

This video was shot in 2002 for Grandaddy tour visuals. “Nature Anthem” is a single by the American rock group Grandaddy released in 2004 in conjunction with the album “Below the Radio”. The title song was played in a Honda Civic Hybrid television commercial in 2005.

I wanna walk up the side of the mountain;
I wanna walk down the other side of the mountain;
I wanna swim in the river and lie in the sun;
I wanna try to be nice to everyone.

There is more information on this video creation at WikiFur and More “Nature Anthem” Videos at UTube.

On the fourteenth day of February, half way through the second month of the year, the birds of the fields begin the choosing of their mates who will help them feather their nests and raise their brood. This yearly event went not unnoticed by ancient humans who came to celebrate Saint Valentine’s Day in emulation of the ways of the birds.

The fowl of the air continue to reveal sweet mysteries of life for humans of the female gender on Valentine’s Day. The young woman who spies a robin redbreast flying o’er head on Valentine’s Day, will marry a sailor. A young woman who first sees a lowly sparrow, is prophesied to marry a pauper who will spend his life making her happy. And the fortunate young girl who spots a goldfinch on Valentine’s Day, will marry a rich man.